How God Turned This Wretch into a Treasure: part three

When that long-expected knock on the door never came, I had to accept that either God was a total liar — or I didn’t know Him at all.

By God’s grace, I knew He was real, and right, and true. There was no way I could entertain that He was a liar. I was forced to conclude that I had no idea who this Being was who commanded my destiny.

In all my years of learning, the church had lied to me about who God is and what He requires. Everything I had ever learned about the Almighty was instantly suspect. Was the doctrine of the Trinity true? Was Jesus really God? How does God communicate with His children? Who can I trust to give me the truth?

But a message written on my heart by God Himself instructed me: Go to the source of truth. Obviously, I didn’t have the truth within me. Look how my foolish heart had led me astray to think that I could manipulate God to do my bidding at my whim.

Why God chose to give me unshakable faith in the source of truth, I’ll never know until heaven. He would have been perfectly pure to let me continue stumbling through life following a false god.  But in His love, He reached down from heaven and whispered an inescapable truth: trust the Bible. It was, after all, the Word of God: 66 books, 40 authors, over 1500 years, with one message. I reasoned that my teachers may get their message wrong. But could God have got His message wrong? The pinprick of light in my heart told me “no.”

So I began a quest to know God. Not the created image of God that the churches had invented; not the idol I had created in my heart; and not some ethereal God that man could dream up. I needed to know the testimony of the Living God about Himself. So I began studying the Bible, asking God to reveal Himself to me. I needed to know what was truth and who He really was.

I didn’t abandon church all together, but I now had the burning passion to question doctrine and seek whether or not it lined up with what the Bible actually taught. And I began a new prayer in my relationship with the father of my precious child. I asked God to teach me how to love him. (Remember, he had destroyed my world by leaving me three months pregnant to raise my daughter alone.)

Prior, I had been so bent on restoring the relationship, that every encounter turned into a confrontation. “How could you leave us, you stupid jerk?” was the tenor of our conversation. I was so immature. My actions had the opposite affect than I desired. I wanted him back, but was pushing him away.

God revealed something that I could not see: my actions toward him were unloving. So I prayed for love.

This time, the “real” God answered my prayers. He began teaching me how to love genuinely, from the heart. My actions changed. No longer was my primary concern about me and how my baby’s father had devastated me by leaving us. Now I had a concern also for him. I wanted good for him, giving up unreasonable expectations. Instead I accepted him “as is,” imperfections and all.

And I actually loved the man for the first time. I loved him so much, that I realized we could not be together. We were so different, had different goals, desires, and mindsets. He would not make the kind of husband that I needed. He was not my not soul mate connected by an eternal decree. What a revelation that was for someone who thought God’s best was only a nuclear family. I was wrong, in this case. Yes, marriage is God’s plan from the beginning. But two people who do not serve the same God, should not be together in a marriage which involves one flesh. How can “one flesh” exist when there is division at the core. I released the butterfly: Actually I was the butterfly that broke free from her cocoon.

That was the first time I had freedom to seek another man for marriage. But I still had so much baggage from my previous way of thinking that I was attracting the wrong kinds of relationships. I accepted two marriage proposals before finding the man whom I would walk down the aisle in matrimony.

The first engagement, was to a Christian man with a lot of baggage of his own. We are none perfect, but his baggage hurt me emotionally from time to time. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t have the clarity to break off the engagement.

I still had not cast off wholly my trusting in dreams, visions, and “words from God.” A conference came up at a nearby church where a modern day prophet was going to give “words of knowledge” and give healing to those in need. Anticipating a message from God, I sat in the audience looking for direction in my relationship. I didn’t have the skills or knowledge to realize that there are certain qualities I should look for in a man. I thought if a man professed to be a Christian, nothing else was important. But something was wrong. There was no peace in my heart about the relationship. I just didn’t have the wisdom to know why. So I sought answers from one who professed to give messages from God.

At the meeting, the prophet “healed” a man of back pain. And prophesied good things for others: but nothing for me. I left disappointed, like God was not listening to me, didn’t care.

At the time, my mom and I owned a junque store called Uniquely Boutiquely. My little Emily came daily to work with me, which was a great privilege — and the reason we started the business in the first place.

Just a day or two after the prophecy conference, a man came into our place of business. He handed me $10 and told me that he had a message from God for me. He told me that the man I was with was not the man I was going to marry. God had someone else in mind for me who would be coming soon. Then he told me also that I would speak in tongues.

God had answered my prayers. He sent someone to give me the message I was seeking — and confirmed it with a $10 gift. Joy of joys. But the result was not joy. It was just the opposite. It filled me with questions and uncertainty. How do I know if this message was really from God? Should I break up with my fiancé? I certainly did NOT want to speak in tongues! (I had already been down that road.)

A heavy weight fell upon me that day and clouded my mind. How could I live with such knowledge? If it was true, how could I go on in the relationship? If it was false, how would I know? My mind could not rest. I tried to trust God, but the thoughts rattled around and around in my brain.

The very thing I had thought I wanted, even needed, was causing me deep grief and turmoil. But God had in mind to teach me something I still needed to learn.

One day at our local Payless (which is now Rite-Aid), I found a Christian book on the shelf. Unusual indeed! And even more unusual was the provocative phrase within the pages. I don’t remember exactly what it said, but I remember the gist: Don’t worry about what others tell you, trust God’s Word. It is the only thing that is reliable.

That was exactly the conclusion I had come to before. Why did I get side tracked again? First I learned not to put stock in my own faulty dreams in visions. Now I had to learn not to put stock in anyone else’s dreams, visions, or words of knowledge. The Bible was the only trustworthy revelation.

Immediately, the heavy burden lifted. I did not have to heed the voice of that “so-called” prophet. He and his message were irrelevant. I didn’t’ need to look to special revelations from others. My only hope was to rely upon God and His Word.

Never again would anyone bring fear or uncertainty upon me from their personal message from God. After all, the Bible talks about false prophets all the time. How am I to know whether a prophet is false or not? Now it didn’t matter. Because now I knew where I could go to for truth — and no one could steal that from me.

And so my journey of faith continued. My trust for God’s Word grew. I was convinced that it alone was reliable.

Sure there were peaks and valleys — and many weeds to pull from the soil of my mind. But God has continued to prove Himself sure over and over.

This faith and trust in God’s Word only grew as I began to learn the historic doctrines of the Church — which lined up beautifully with all the Bible taught.

Then I met my husband, who was convinced that the Bible even had answers to health. At first I was skeptical. But the Bible did claim to have “everything pertaining to life and godliness.” Surely life included health.

So as he taught the principles, and I applied them — I saw a huge improvement in my health and the health of my daughter (who was now 11 years old). Things like shingles, cold sores, arthritis, sinus infections, allergies, and more — vanished.

This convinced me.

Now I devote much of my life teaching these principles to others so they too can have more energy, recover from chronic conditions, sleep better, and experience less pain.

I trust that God has answers for your conditions too.

When we apply God’s principles to our health, we can live life to its fullest by His design. Sick is NOT normal. Our bodies can heal themselves when they have the proper nutrition and environment.

Did you miss part one and part two? Click the corresponding link.

Never Miss A Thing


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Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.


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