“For God hath not given us the Spirit of Fear; but of Power, and of Love, and of a Sound Mind.” ~Apostle Paul,  ~ Circa AD 50 ~ II Timothy 1:7

You ask how, during these difficult times, our family finds the strength, courage and stamina to go on. Many of you are afraid for us…or for yourselves. “Please lay low so you are not such an easy target”… “Don’t advertise”… “Please don’t have any more public raw milk meetings. It just draws the fire and ire of those who wish to stop raw milk”… “Please be careful…I’m afraid they will shut you down and we’ll lose the only milk my children can drink”… “Don’t write newsletters that expose; it just makes them all the more determined to knock you down a peg.” …”Even though it’s the truth, it is too dangerous to say it.”

Believe me; your concerns touch our family. It makes us tear up to feel your heart and love. It means a lot that you care deeply enough to be scared for us. Your thoughts of fear are certainly not new to us either.  In fact, they used to be way too familiar!  And as I read your concerns, I knew right away I had to share a personal story with you.

I always get a little emotional when I share this story and I’ve never tried to write it out so stick with me. I’m not sure how this will go. It was one of the most powerful spiritual experiences of my life and is still close to my heart and special, so please don’t laugh.

It was the wee hours of the morning of October 2011. My wife Dawn and I were traveling south on I-70 heading for the Washington-Dulles International airport. It should have been a wonderful time together. We were off for a rare, one-week vacation to my sister’s family in Guatemala and to top it off, my parents, as a gift, had paid our way.

So the big, exciting day was here. Everything was in place to run smoothly. Rodrick and Gwendolyn and the rest of our six children, along with a few key employees were in charge of the farm, the store and the drop points. Dawn and I were on the way…but I was nothaving a good time.

I don’t know how to describe it. Maybe a psychologist will recognize it. The best way I can put it is that it felt like I had 100 different, urgent, complex dilemmas coursing through my brain at once. And they all must be answered soon! Now! Before we leave the country! Before I can relax! So I was franticly working on them…all of them…at once. And I was afraid.